El Complaintomos

Life Has been filled with a whole lot of uughhhh.

Lemme know if you get it.

A wholelotta can't get out the door on time because of zero communication...
A wholelotta can't remember where I put my coffee (on the roof of my car...)
A wholelotta WHATTTTHHHHEEEFFFFF am i doing...
A wholelotta You've got your hands full huh? (with 2 kids? sure I guess...)

Blurry proof of 2-toof.

A wholelotta rushing, rushing.
Awholelotta teething!!!!
A wholelotta peed pants..
A wholelotta needing a nap before I go to bed because I.AM.THAT.TIRED..
A wholelotta really?!?!seriously?!?!?!
A wholelotta running around like a crazy person, because the two year old let the indoor cat outside, slipping on dog poop while chasing him around and finally catching him using a cat wrangling stick..

There are more days that I find myself wanting to give up than not. It gets so hard to do anything (vacuuming is easy right? No it really isn't with Hurricane Easton around. One room takes almost an hour and we don't live in any mansion either..)

I can't remember what it's like to have a quiet, clean house. Or shower without the door getting opened 30 times to be asked 'What doing mama? Oh you in da shower? Oh ok'

I know terrible twos is a phase and shit gets better..but MY WORD CHILD, do you have to be so DRAHHHMMMAAAHHTTIICCC [no idea where he gets it..]. Everything is a melt-to-the-diz-own.

Our first bloody nose.

Or NOOOOOs. Loads of 'NOs.' And 'Nusthins'

easton what are you doing?
NUSTHIN!!!
Easton what do you want to eat?
NUSTHIN!
Easton stop hitting your brother/running away from me/doing that thing you arent supposed to do!!
I NOT DOIN NUSTHIN!!!!!

Oh,  this isn't where I am
supposed to ride my bike

oh really, because you are ALWAYS up to something.

I spent my entire 45 minute sgrocery trip [mind you, 45 minutes for 5 items!!!!], chasing him around the grocery store. he kept full on sprinting away from me & then I would put him into the cart and he would screaaaaaammmmm and try to jump out. If we didn't need something for lunch and dinner I would have just left...buuuuuut i couldn't. So gawk away people, crazy mama is here and she can't control her child..OH YES SOMEONE HAS SOME ADVICE, please DO stop me whilst jogging after the Usain Bolt of toddlers...


Three hours, eight loads of folded [using the term loosey-goosely], and one synchronized nap later & I am counting the MILLISECONDS until back up arrives.

You can bet he's getting a text that reads a little like an S.O.S.:

Please come quick,

The children want me dead!

Bring booze.

& chocolate...

or else...