Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Wordless Wednesday

These two photos were taken exactly 2 years apart: 
Hudson September 4, 2013
Easton September 4, 2011
The old 4-legged baby of the family meets the new 4-legged baby of the family
Not even 3 and looking like a CHILD, where has my sweet baby gone?!?!

Oh, theres my baby! 
Physical Therapy appointment, wooing all the old ladies
Housewarming gift for my sister

Before the dump


After the dump, maybe an hours worth of snow.

Changing 'yellow guy'




Monday, November 25, 2013

Hard knock Life?

Instead of kisses, we get kicked.. So fitting for any parent working on a diaper change.


I have my fair share of days where my poor, darling husband receives text upon text upon text upon the dreaded phone call about how awful the boys have been. And thats omitting quite a few texts...

Most days I function right on the line of sanity, tip-toeing through each screech and whine directed at me, cuddling and wiping tears over the wrong type of crackers, removing the now mobile baby from yet another possibly dangerous situation [please don't chew on the wires Hudson, I am pretty sure thats going to end poorly...] I let the dogs in and out 197 times each, I corral the cat from going out because he forgets he is an indoor cat. I explain to Easton that there are only so many ways to combine cheese and bread/tortilla/pizza dough/noodles that I am capable of. I pull Huddy out from under a table or the dog or as of today out of the bathroom (you gross baby). I clean and clean and clean, only to have the house look worse than it did before I started. I pray for a simultaneous nap day which is as illusive as a leprechaun on a unicorn these days. I break up fights because my youngest is an instigator at only 9 months. I do laundry, usually the same load four or five times, and bathe boys and dress boys and snuggle boys and dance with boys.

And is it so bad....?

Yes and no.

Yes:  There are so many days that I would like to just sleep in and get up, shower, grab my purse and hop in the car; just spend the day by myself doing what I want, going where I want, not having to figure out nap times/what to feed kids. There are times when I just give up and turn on some brain rot tv and don't fold the clothes and ignore the kitchen floor that needs mopped.There are days when no one will nap. No one will listen. And we have to go to the doctor and the grocery store and no we arent buying a cart full of chocolate (idk why not, we could use it) Somedays I can't handle breakfast, or lunch, or anything that comes after lunch. There are days I can't remember when I washed my hair last, I don't know where the favorite toy is and I can't calm down the almost three year old whose heart is broken because papa took the car to work and not the truck and somehow that not only matters but makes or breaks the day...? There are days when I text and text and call because I am overwhelmed. And if we're being totally honest because I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I AM DOING. 

Like none whatsoever..

So yes, sometimes it is that bad.


But other days it isn't. Other days, both boys nap. They both just eat what I give them. They play quietly on the floor and not that scary quiet where you know they've manager to empty and entire box of rice on the floor and ground crayons into the carpet that needs deep cleaning. Other days I take a shower by myself and maybe even shave!?! Other days I know whats for dinner before someone gets home and asks. Other days I am surrounded by a wish that I has that I didn't know would come true, I have a family of my own that I take care of and love more than anything. Other days, they laugh more than cry, they hug more than hit, they are happier than they are sad. I am lucky that I have these days with them, I am lucky we have these two wonderful boys. Lucky they have health, laughter and each other. I am lucky I have a husband who takes care of us, lucky that he has a job, lucky we can make it work like this. I am so thankful for those days and these moments and this luck I have stumbled on.

So no, sometimes it isn't that bad.






Friday, November 22, 2013

Mama confessions

Following a trend via Grace and Ana and every other mom out there who has some things to say..


  • Easton has spent most of his time as a TV zombie this week. This have been kind of rough around here lately and somedays it has just been easier to throw on some Neverland Pirates and Doc and get a hot second to myself. 

Having a must-bear
  • As exciting as it is for Hudson to be a crawler, I could do with out it. It makes me super neurotic and I am constantly in fear that he is choking on one of the million things in the house left on the floor by Hurricane Easton. And the getting under things, and the crawling on the dog.... 


  • I don't pick up the boys toys in their room...like...ever... I clean their room once a week but on the days it doesn't make the cut, it looks like a disaster zone.
  • Josh and I need to take a serious moment to ourselves sometime soon. I think every married couple has that moment where they just need to reconnect. We have managed to avoid it for some time and now it is more than just wanted, it's needed. 
  • This happened today and I'd be a liar if I didn't say I loved it:

  • I failed as an adult today and was foiled by the interwebz. I never pay bills and today when I did today managed to pay the wrong amount across the board...What is current usage vs billed usage?!??? I dont know PAY THEM ALL!!!! ....yay me, I'll send in my adult card as soon as I can find one to help me..
  • I'm pretty sure the dog peed on the deck and I don't care. 
  • Easton constantly asks "whats all this crap?" aaaaannndd I'm pretty sure I know where he picked that up.
  • I am beyond coveting this dressthis one toothese boots, this in both gunmetal and toffee, along with a laundry list of other goodies for the holidays. But I have no place to wear a fancy dress, my calves are too big for any type of boot and while I do need a new bag, those ones will sit on the back burner until the lottery is won.
  • Hudson has found his voice these days and KNOWS how to use it. I am guilty of letting him test it out longer these days...
  • I'm pretty excited that Hudson can finally feed himself because I do not enjoy feeding baby. I don't know what it is about feeding babies that is crazy annoying to me but I do not like it. They get so messy and don't open their mouth at the right time...I dont know maybe the baby feeding nostalgia wore off early this time around..
  • Also, I really really hate laundry.

  • Looking forward to more of these easy days, pretty sunsets, and the holidays


Aunt Kiki and Easton, bffs since 2011

Friday, November 15, 2013

Lets get uncomfortable

And talk about body issues...

YAY...

Something everyone loves, only not at all.

I am so over having them, I know that much. And I don't think there is a single woman out there who hasn't had one. Maybe one out there, somewhere that we all hate but I think most women, especially mothers can relate. There are things we'd all like to change, things I'd pay to change, things I'm too lazy to change.. But they are my things to think about, and dwell on, and talk about and as far as I'm concerned they are no one else's damn business. I don't need to be told to take care of myself, because guess what i know im not doing a great job at that...don't need to hear it said out loud. 

It has been four years since I have either not been pregnant or nursing or preparing to get pregnant [that sounds weird, but I like to cut certain foods out when trying to conceive]. Since 2010, there has been a  baby in me, feeding from me, or resting on a hip. Then there was a baby on the hip and one in the tum, and now a toddler at my feet and a baby on my hip. I quit a job I loved A LOT, to stay at home and take care of these babies. I spend every moment listening for a cry, wiping up spills and cleaning bums. I keep a fairly clean house and dinner is always cooking when Josh gets home. Could I get up an hour earlier and work out? Yeah, I could but I don't. And that is on me, it isn't anyones business. 

Being encouraging is one thing, badgering someone about how they look is something COMPLETELY different. Taking care of yourself when you are constantly taking care of others is hard. I know there are people who are ridiculously talented and can take care of everything, but most days its a win if my hair is brushed and I pee before 10 am...

Four years I have spent working on a labor of love, a labor that has included actual labor twice, a labor that has left me with a body scared and  bigger than I usually am. A body that is tired and jiggly and uncomfortable somedays. But its the body I have right now, that I carried two healthy babies in, that wont be with me forever, but it is with me now. And while somedays I can't stand it and even hate it, I am thankful for the gifts its given me and I am happy that it I have a body that works to complain about.

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

a moment for tuesday

I am a mama,
I do snuggles.
And kisses,
Hugs and get betters,
I run baths,
clean bottoms.
Wash onesies
and faces.
Hold sticky fingers 
and wipe runny noses.


I offer explanations
and give timeouts.
Say no no no! and
what do you say?
I teach pleases and
thank yous.  
I give my last bite,
an extra sip.
Share treats and smiles.
Make memories and 
have adventures.
Build forts and 
imaginations.
I wake nightly,
and don't sleep in. 
I share my space,
travel with bags and bags.
I make bottles
and mash food.
I live with dirt,
Snot and sticky messes,
Our house is loud, echoing
giggles and screams.
I live for trucks and trees,
for puppies and running,
for bikes and lakes.
For all the things these two boys love.
I love hard,
I protect furiously
I live for their smiles,
their blinks
their moments,
their memories
their love
I live for these two boys