Lets get uncomfortable

And talk about body issues...

YAY...

Something everyone loves, only not at all.

I am so over having them, I know that much. And I don't think there is a single woman out there who hasn't had one. Maybe one out there, somewhere that we all hate but I think most women, especially mothers can relate. There are things we'd all like to change, things I'd pay to change, things I'm too lazy to change.. But they are my things to think about, and dwell on, and talk about and as far as I'm concerned they are no one else's damn business. I don't need to be told to take care of myself, because guess what i know im not doing a great job at that...don't need to hear it said out loud. 

It has been four years since I have either not been pregnant or nursing or preparing to get pregnant [that sounds weird, but I like to cut certain foods out when trying to conceive]. Since 2010, there has been a  baby in me, feeding from me, or resting on a hip. Then there was a baby on the hip and one in the tum, and now a toddler at my feet and a baby on my hip. I quit a job I loved A LOT, to stay at home and take care of these babies. I spend every moment listening for a cry, wiping up spills and cleaning bums. I keep a fairly clean house and dinner is always cooking when Josh gets home. Could I get up an hour earlier and work out? Yeah, I could but I don't. And that is on me, it isn't anyones business. 

Being encouraging is one thing, badgering someone about how they look is something COMPLETELY different. Taking care of yourself when you are constantly taking care of others is hard. I know there are people who are ridiculously talented and can take care of everything, but most days its a win if my hair is brushed and I pee before 10 am...

Four years I have spent working on a labor of love, a labor that has included actual labor twice, a labor that has left me with a body scared and  bigger than I usually am. A body that is tired and jiggly and uncomfortable somedays. But its the body I have right now, that I carried two healthy babies in, that wont be with me forever, but it is with me now. And while somedays I can't stand it and even hate it, I am thankful for the gifts its given me and I am happy that it I have a body that works to complain about.