Kidfree Suspicious vs With Kid Suspicious (&unrelated pictures)

Wet sticky things. Pretty gross and suspicious. But when you have kids, not really that weird. Because guess what, it's probably what you think it is. And it probably was old applesauce or juice or the dreaded P to the OOP. 

Silence. Not suspicious when you are kidless. Quite enjoyable really. But once you have kids silence is not golden. It's usually covered in mud, creeping across your freshly mopped floor trying to drag the plants indoors. 

Thumps in the morning/day/afternoon/night. Usually pretty suspicious regardless. But it seems that with out kids there is always something going thump. Currently at 9:14 I'm listening to the 1 year old thump-thump-thumpity his foot against the wall while he lays in his crib. There is always someone jumping or running or falling in our house. Even at night. 

Screaming. Highly suspicious when you are kid free, generally not a good sign when a kid free home houses kids screams, no bueño. Even in our house where I try to enforce a 'please don't scream unless you are on fire/bleeding/not gonna make it' clause. There is still A LOT of screaming that happens in our house. Screaming because they are too close to each other. Screaming because they are hungry. Screaming because they want to scream. 

Losing your phone. Suspicious always, the difference is no kids: crapcrapcrap I hope I didn't leave it at the bar. Is it in my purse, shhttt it's on silent of course!! Where are you phone!!! With kids: it's in the toilet. Guaran-fridgen-teed.