Last night it started at 1140ish [Actually, it started on a 9+ mile bike ride earlier that day. I hit my limit and it SUCKED]. Hudson's up and hungry. How?? How is that possible child? You just ate before bed!! ughhh. I ask Josh to make him a bottle. He went right back down.
Then again at 130, back down at 230ish. back up at 4 until 6 when I tried over and over to just get him down. At which point I snapped at my husband, "I've asked for help why aren't you helping!?!?!?" His respose: "I just made him a bottle!"
Um.
No.
Look at the clock, its been 5 hours. I've been up on and off since then...
anyways... Huddy gets really happy the moment he wakes up. He kicks and coos and giggles and talks. And all I want is sleep. It's been 5 months
So I yell. At everyone. but mostly my babies. My sweet, sweet babies. Who just want mama & love. And to play trucks and snuggle and be held. But man, I am spent and spread way too thin. I just want a break. I am on call all of the hours for all of the needs! Which is impossible to explain to someone who doesn't see what happens here. Whine-thirty at 9 am, hungry hungry Huddys every 2 hours [you're cute, but this is gettin old Hudson. Youre 5 months now, pull it together!], the NOs!, the hitting, the screaming, the no want you mama, want papa!s.
Those ones sting the most, because I'm the bad guy
But even today, when I am too tired, and the kids wont nap, there isnt any sunshine and we are stuck inside with no plans in sight- Easton comes over and climbs on my lap and says I love you mama and plants a huge kiss on my cheek. He shares nacho lunches and asks to "watch dis show a-gether?" He kisses his brother and plays quietly with trucks, showing Hudson all the different ones he has. Hudson smiles so big and cuddles in, giggling whenever anyone looks in his direction.
Even today, when I've yelled more than spoke, they still love me and I still love & live for them.
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