create.

Something I am trying to do each day,

this is for my boys. It will go on their art

wall.

Memorial day camping

Sometimes, you just need a bit of fresh air and camping to clear your mind and forget about your troubles.

Shady spot

Breaking in the his new chair

Every thing is more exciting when camping.

so that is how these extra pounds got there..

Snug Bug & aunt Kiki

Smile Snug Bug&kiki again

Content for now.

Fire grilled quesadilla, yum!

ohh

old men.

Easton loved camping. It involves some of his favorite things: trucks, tents, dirt, playing, and most of all  being outside! He was a great camper after the first night. He went down for his naps and bedtime great all 4 days (we got out there after naps on thursday, he struggled a bit with bedtime that night). We were very thankful we downloaded a sound machine app on the ipad, we really needed that this weekend! Hudson did great! For 3 months old he rocked camping! He just hung out in the carrier a lot, had one gassy day and then was great the rest of the time! :) It was a lot of fun, we laughed a lot and it was just what we needed!

Big Brown!

Today our oldest child turns 12. 12 years by our side, taking on the world and adventuring with us. 12 years of riding in the back seat, sharing laughs and playing hard. 12 years of going big.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TITUS! 

You are such a good boy! So wise, handsome and smart! we love you <3

Awkbitshylaze.

I am awkward. Like laugh at my own jokes, before I even say them awkward. I am also painfully shy. (And insecure. but who isnt, blahblahblah thats another can of worms.) All of this, bundled up neatly in a pudgy, frizzy haired crazy package and you get me. Awkwardpants Mcgee over here.

I make weird faces when people talk to me.

When I see people I know all i think is oh no I dont know how to say hello to them (WTF?!?! how hard is it to go "hey"). they dont want me to say hello anyways. ignore them....RUN RUN AWAY!!!'

And don't even ask what happens when I see TWO people I know together...hint: I assume they are together to talk about me..? Conceited much, geez Lily. More or less: terrified of their combined dislike of me, which is always{hopefully} just made up in my head.

OHH I also have a pretty serious case of Chronic Bitch face:

source

I know I am awkward-chronically bitchfaced-shy, and yet I choose not to do anything about it.

Not that I could (could I? probably. will I[nope. too lazy])

Oh, I am also lazy.

See, awkward, b-faced. Too shy to take a photo and too lazy to get the whole face..

There could be worse things though. So I'll take this lot in life and carry it along the way...

Mama thoughts.

I love being a mom.

It is the hardest and most important thing I have ever done. I feel alive when my children are around me. I pour ever bit of me into them.

and often it is not enough.

The still want more. they need more. 

Hold me, pick me up too. go mama. outside mama. bath mama? no nap. NO MAMA! 

It will never be enough. But thats ok, because that little piece thats missing. that i feel like i cant achieve, that keeps me moving forward. Pushing to be a better parent and partner. It forces me to sit still on the floor and build garages for hours. to stop and paint a picture for papa with little bear. to delight it seeing an airplane take off even though we aren't on board traveling some place warm.

That drive to be better slows me down and stops me.

It helps me create. with them. for them.

for me.

they give the love i wish i could.

Create!

I have been so busy lately making things. I am really proud of actually finding the time and making the effort to create some of the things that I pin or see on blogs.

So far I have made:

• Chocolate chip cookies. I combined two recipes to make the prefect salty and sweet, chewy and yummy version.
• Homemade potato chips. In the microwave! I was surprised at how good these were!
• Homemade finger paint for Easton. This one will take another try to get it just right. I don't now what went wrong but it wasn't quite right.
• Homemade bath paint. This is my favorite. Just shaving cream and food coloring. I bought the cheap stuff and it works pretty well. Easton loves it and its a great alternative to glow sticks to get him in the bath.
• Homemade salsa, this was the best Josh ate it all up, really quick too! 

I still have a huge list of to makes. A home made easel is in the works, but need fixed. A few string art projects. Some painting, some up-cycling on a few pieces. Its too bad naps to don't happen at the same time every day...

And back to the grind, the little brother is up and summoning mama :) 

Just Don't

Don't try to "ruin"someones life because they've had a negative impact on yours. Just don't. Its selfish and kind of stupid...

If you've been dealt a bad hand (which really, who hasn't) maybe, just maybe a tiny part of it is your fault... Not all of it. But a little? Maybe?

You make your decisions, you choose your life path and to think that someone could possibly alter your life so drastically that you can't function like a normal human being is bull. Sorry but it is. You get what you give. You project an aura, if its negative then thats the energy it attracts! The only person to blame, the only person holding you back is you.

You are the one who doesn't believe in you,
you are the one who thinks you're dumb,
old,
fat,
ugly,
poor,
not good enough...
You are the one who says can't, i'm incapable.
You are the one who
will 
always
make
excuses.

You want to drink yourself to death? Don't blame your high school gym teacher.
You want to stay in a relationship that isn't going anywhere? Don't blame your father.
You want to do something different in your life? Anything? Travel? Paint? Teach?

Quit blaming everyone else around you and look at yourself.

You can do whatever you want in life, your life hasn't been that bad. There are very few people out there who have legitimate excuses for wallowing. Yes, really shitty crap things happen to people everyday that change who they are. That give them want and reason to give up. But for everyone of them who give up there are many who survive. Who get on with their lives and quit letting things that happen to them define them.

be defined by what you do. not the things done to you.

I am over people acting like one tiny little bump in the road is a mountain. Lame excuse. Mountains are meant to be climbed anyways.


</end rant>